Under Alien Skies 2, Nightly Rituals
by Alec Star
Summary: Just an average night for Sam and Daniel. Second story in the to 'Under Alien Skies' series.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the concepts, I don't own the characters, I make no money, I make no sense and I get no sleep, though on a positive note I absolutely love feedback (in other words, please review).

Warning: this story is a sequel to **_Under Alien Skies - Propagation_**, if you've read that story you know what this is about, if you haven't this probably won't make much sense and you should be warned that this story includes references to some adult issues (there are some tacit references to rape in this fic but that word is not even mentioned anywhere other than in these notes).

Timeline: this takes place roughly a week after **_Propagation _**(and a couple of days before **_Girls' Night Out_**, though there's no real continuity between this story and **_Girls'..._** so that's basically irrelevant).

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**_Under Alien Skies - Nightly Rituals_**  
Chapter 1  
(Sam's POV)

It takes me only a few seconds to realize that I am safe in my own bed and not in Turghan's tent --and that General Hammond is **_not_** in the tent with us... honestly, I don't even want to try to imagine where that thought may have come from-- but in spite of that getting my breathing back under control takes me almost a full minute. A quick look at the clock tells me it's only 2:37 AM and I let out a frustrated sigh. That means it's too early for me to stay awake so I'll have no choice but to try to go back to sleep and that is **_not_** one of my favorite things. Of course, I do know better than to try to do so right away.

The thing is that what I'd really like to do right now is to take a long, hot shower. The problem is that I know that if I were to do that, I would almost certainly wake Daniel up and **_that_** is causing me to hesitate.

In a way it's kind of funny. One of the main reasons Daniel got stuck with the job of baby-sitting me was because Janet didn't want me waking up alone, unfortunately her good intentions seem to have backfired... at least in that regard. Up until a few days ago taking a midnight shower was something I could do without thinking, now it is something that must be carefully considered. I know Daniel doesn't mind --he's told me that more than once and I could see that he actually meant it-- but the fact remains that I do feel somewhat guilty about it because God knows that Daniel isn't getting that much sleep to begin with.

He may be a lot quieter about it than I am but I couldn't help but notice the light coming out from under his door a couple of times as I went to the kitchen to fetch myself a midnight snack in a rather desperate attempt to find a less noisy alternative to taking a shower. In fact it was when we accidentally ran into each other in the kitchen that we were forced to acknowledge that we were both trying to dance around the other.

Of course, in addition to the fact that I don't want to wake him up if he is actually sleeping, there's also the fact that I don't want to worry him. The problem is that a shower is by far the most effective way for me to get that nightmare out of my mind and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change that so, feeling more than a little guilty, I decide to go for it.

I know it's crazy, I've told myself that often enough and in a way that scares me, but the truth is that it works. It's not about being clean, not really --in fact more often than not I don't even touch the soap-- it's just about being able to relax in a way I can't at any other time but **_that_** is not something that can be easily explained... luckily no one is asking for an explanation.

In a way that is one thing I'm deeply grateful for: the fact that Daniel is extremely careful **_not_** to push... for the most part.

I am still thinking about that when I get up, walk into the bathroom, open the water, regulate its temperature and then I turn out the lights . Only then do I undress in total darkness, knowing that I can relax, that I don't have to worry about that damned mirror or about the possibility of being ambushed by my own reflection. Finally, taking a deep breath, I step under the spray and just let the hot water run over me for a while.

As I said, it sounds more than a little crazy but I do love the darkness and the warmth, not to mention that the sound of running water is deeply soothing. Eventually I sit down under the spray, allowing my muscles to relax and then I close my eyes. I stay like that until I notice that the water is starting to cool down, then I reluctantly shut it off, reach for my towel, wrap it around my body and step out of my little private sanctuary.

I am definitely feeling better but I know my nightly ritual is still not complete, I still have one more stop to make. Like I do almost every night, I go to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and I am not particularly surprised when I find that Daniel is already there, waiting for me with my tea ready. I nod my thanks at him, not wanting to break the silence, and then I sit down next to him.

Just like we do almost every night we don't talk, we don't have to. That is not what this is about.

Once the tea is gone I head back to my room and as I prepare to get in bed I look at the clock. It is 3:13 and I'm ready to go back to sleep, knowing that the worst is over... or that --if nothing else-- the next time I wake up it will almost certainly be late enough for me to forego the pretense of going back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 2  
(Daniel's POV)

I'm tossing and turning as I do most nights... I'm still not quite sure why I do it, after all it doesn't really help. I should know, I've been doing it since my parents died. In fact that is one of the things I miss most about being on Abydos: being able to go to sleep with Sha're in my arms, knowing that she'd be there when I woke up.

I know it sounds silly --and more than a little corny-- but being with her gave me a sense of safety I hadn't had in longer than I could remember. Abydos was a different world, it was a safe world and I had a family there. It was a world in which it would have been unthinkable for a grandfather to turn his back on his grandson, a world where a man's first duty was to his family. I guess that's one of the reasons why I loved it so much, because it was so different, because things were the way they should have been.

On Abydos I found myself being part of a family for the first time in more than twenty years and then all of a sudden that family was taken from me... again. Just as I couldn't save my parents when I was a child, I couldn't keep Sha're from being taken by the Goa'uld. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out if only Sha're had come with us when I went to show Sam and Jack the cartouche.

It was a random thing, a split second in time and --just like my parents' death-- it changed my life forever. If Sha're had gone with us she would have been safe and that is the road I'll always regret not taking. It would have been such a minor change, such a tiny step and yet it would have made such a huge difference. Of course, that is not the only way in which things could have gone down differently and I know it. I am all too aware that on the other hand if we had waited a little longer we would all be dead, killed either by Apophis or by the bomb General Hammond would undoubtedly have sent through the stargate when Jack, Sam and the others failed to return on schedule. If we had been there when Apophis attacked, General Hammond would have killed everyone on Abydos and then earth itself would have been left at the mercy of the Goa'uld, facing an unexpected threat mankind couldn't possibly have understood.

That would have been devastating.

I am still thinking about that, thinking about the countless might-have-beens and trying to make some sort of sense out of the chaos that has become my life in these past few months --wondering where I'd be if I **_hadn't_** failed to keep Sha're safe-- when I hear the water running and I realize that Sam is up.

I look at the clock and I realize that it is a little past 2:30... a pretty good time. That means that Sam's probably managed to get close to three hours worth of sleep and that --with a little luck-- she'll be able to get another three hours after her shower. That is pretty good and **_no_**, I'm nowhere near as obsessed with Sam's sleep patterns as Janet is, though at times I do worry. I mean, after all, she **_is_** my friend.

Well, at least the fact that she is awake gives me something to do. It provides me with a welcome distraction from my own thoughts and that is definitely a good thing... especially considering that sleep is not really much of an option right now. Sure, I know I still have a few minutes before I need to get up (after all, I've gotten pretty good at predicting how long she's going to be because, as Sam would undoubtedly remind me, the capacity of the water heater is a constant) but at least now I have a sense of purpose, I have something I can focus my attention on.

In a way this has become a rather comfortable routine, though it took me a while to get Sam to accept my presence here.

Yes, I know it sounds absurd to say that it took a while when I've only been here a week but the thing is that at first she was determined to play the perfect host and that was a problem we had to overcome, now at least she is no longer **_too_** worried about that. She is back to being my friend and that is definitely an advantage.

Of course, the fact that things aren't anywhere near as tense as they were a few days ago doesn't mean I don't have to be careful. I know Sam is still more than a little defensive around me and I certainly don't blame her for that. After all, I am all too aware that I did more than my fair share of pushing when I all but forced her to tell me what had really happened in Simarka and that is something she is not likely to forget any time soon.

Yes, what I did was necessary and I don't regret it but I do realize that from her perspective it was --and still remains-- an unwelcome interference. That is why I am so determined to get her to accept the fact that I'm here for her and the best way I can think of to get her to accept that is by taking a step back.

After a few minutes Sam finally walks into the kitchen. I hand her her tea and she sits next to me, not saying anything... not that I was expecting her to. This is about being together, about not being alone. It is not about talking and we both know it... besides, right now that is **_not_** what she needs, or at least I don't think it is. The way I see it this is probably one of those instances in which silent support will work a lot better than nagging support so I'm willing to give her as much time and space as she needs.

Of course, I'm not kidding myself. I know I'm not doing much --and I'm certainly not doing what Janet wanted me to do-- but at least I am doing something and for now I suspect that that is going to have to do.

THE END (for now, next story is already in the works)


End file.
